things gg through recently.

Hi Blog, i am here to rant again.
deep inside me, there is this wish. that this training will past faster. so that i will know who God has given me, whether i have been on the wrong track.

i must say that i have fully accepted that God is giving me all these hard times, is because He wants me to be a better person, both for myself, and for the partner that He has arranged for me. but still, there is still this feeling inside that i have a liking for you, and i will actually consider you. If dawn add in your name to the list of brothers that she ask me on who i will choose, i might choose you.

people has been saying a lot that there is something going on between us, rumors spreading that you like me or that we are alr a couple, people telling you that i like you, though we know all these are just stories made up, and that we have put a stop for all these, but i think there is some 'trueness', up till a certain extend. i know on my side, there is some liking for you, but is something that i will hide inside me, and no one will know, not even jamie, not even dawn, only God. As for you, i do not know what you think towards this. But really, even if you ask me to be yr gf now, i will say no, not because i do not like you, but because i know who you are, and how you treat things like this. i do not want to make any wrong decision again, and make both of us feel awkward in-front of each other and most importantly, that God will not be disappointed in us.

To think of it, i am glad you went for this Germany trip with Dawn, that she told you what you should do. is something i do not know how to tell you. i know what you have been doing, you have told me before, but i do not know how to put it in words for you. i have too many friends and relatives that has your character and i know that if we keep telling you what to do, but you are not at a stage of listening, you will be even more rebellious, which will make things worst. Plus, i have been telling you not to do some other stuff. if i continue telling you more, it does not help. sometimes we just need another voice to tell you, and dawn came in at the right time. Thus, i shall put all things down, and really trust that God will work in His time, and in His awesome planning for me, only then i can have blessings form God :)

And i am glad that you are changing. though at this point of time, i may be thinking that this is not good, because, then we no longer talk and everything, but i know that you are changing for the better and slowly being molded by God to be His perfect vase.